OK, I'm almost getting to the point where I'm getting paranoid looking for the punchline, because things have just been going almost TOO well this week. *L*

I took the apartment, and can start moving any time, and I love it. ^_^ I got the utilities switched to my name and renter's insurance set up and so I just need to straighten up and get stuff into it. And FIND all my stuff. and stuff like that.

So I got a great apartment for about $200 less than I would have expected to pay for it. Well, maybe 100, but still, Nice.

And when I was worrying about money, dad happens to mention that the trailer park is really hurting for help for the summer, so I hinted that I might be willing to pick up some oddball hours and he jumped at it! Whoo second job for the summer! Whoo getting something back in my savings account! Whoo work I like that is outdoors and can help me get back in some shape! I am not opposed to physical labor especially when it's just digging fence posts and trimming trees. I can do that.
Oh, I forgot that the added perk of working at the park is i get to borrow tools. Bonus! I can build that bookcase i want at the top of the stairs!

Also speaking of money, I have more than I thought because the third paycheck we had in march, i think it was, finally caught up and so this whole paycheck i have free to put deposit on insurance and stuff with all of my bills paid until the middle of may, which can come out of NEXT paycheck. ^_^

See why I say that things are just working out scary well? *L* Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket. ^_^ Think that would be pressing my luck??

*blows the dust off* Ahh, livejournal. My only safe rant place on the web. because I don't have to worry about anyone in my family reading it, ever. ^_^

So I'm going to be moving in the next month or two. Grandma's house, which wasn't even officially on the market, is being bought by my uncle. Huzzah! Basically he's buying my mom's half out, which is awesome for her. We don't even need to finish the rest of the renovations. He's gonna let my drunk-ass cousin live there with her hubby and kids from various sperm donors. But you know what, that is a rant for another day when i'm not so stressed and in the mood to work myself into a rip-roaring depression about family unfairness.

Lonog story short, I need to move out. Well, mom does too, but she's already decided to go home to the house she actually OWNS and see if she can beat my sister into some shape and save what is left of the house before my sister turns it into an episode of Hoarders. I, however, cannot possibly, for many mant reasons, move back in there with my idiot sister, and not just because of the crowding and the filth. I'm using the nicer sounding excuse of pet allergies.

So i'm house hunting. And apartment hunting. And even roomate hunting, because the fact is I really can barely afford to pay rent/mortgage/etc. Well, at least not on a place that is actually liveable and/or not so far from work that i spend more in gas than I make in a week. Unfortunately my lovely little hometown is a place where everyone wants to be, which is great for some things but sucks when I want cheap rent.

Looked at a house that was a foreclusure at $49,000, which i figure as the extreme up end of my rang, and it was mess and woudl need a TON of work. I'd have LOVED to be able to take such a cute little house and fix it up, but how can I do a ton of repairs when I can barely afford it in the first place? Sad. I hope it finds a good owner this time. :( Looked at another place today in the same price range, smaller but much nicer and move-in-ready with the exception of appliances. Nice place, practically accross the street from my sister, but not quite, which woudl be nice for mom and the kids. BUT after chatting informally with a loan officer it doesn't look good that I coudl get approved for that much at this point.

Now another option is renting, but the average rent in this lovely lakeside tourist trap is $550-$700 a month. Fine if you have two incomes but, ha, i don't. I make $650 in TWO WEEKS. Addin insurance and utilities and debts I have already and, you know, food and fuel and junk, and no. Not gonna work so great.
I looked at a coupld of places that were $350 and $400 and eek. Small i was expecting, but these were bad beyond small. Yes, I could probably survive a year there but it woudl likely suck. I am not a tiny person who will fit well in a tiny space unfortunatly and the building felt like it would fall down any second.

So I'm looking at a place tomorrow that looks nice on a website and from teh outside but who knows inside, and it's $450 a month. That's hopefully do-able but tight. I worry most that I won't be able to save anything towards something better any time soon if I am stretched that thin. I guess I can see it as motivation to get a better paying job? A second job that actually works with my schedule? A way to make money off my photos or writing? *sighs* i dunno. I know I'll be fine in the long run. My family isn't going to let me starve, and I already HAVE a household as far as furniture, kitchenware, etc goes. I just need a place to put it (and find it in my sister's basement of course.)

So tomorrow I go look at this apartment which is $450, and I have my fingers crossed because it sounds like a great place for the price. Which also worries me that the landlord will be picky about who he takes, since he lives downstairs. But I'll panic about all of that tomorrow. The good news is that if he offers it to me i can whip out a check for first months rent and one month security on the spot because I've been saving up for just such an event. Of course that woudl leave me with a scary scary small amount of money but I'd have a place to go. IF it's nice. IF they accept me. IF something doesn't come up between now and then that sucks all my cash. *worryworryworry* >.<

For my own ref and worrying, my basic budget for a month:

$1300 in pay
-$215 for car loan
=1085
-$100 for credit card
=985
-$50 for gas
=935

935-450 for rent = 485 for everything else. - approx $150 for utilities? (guessing on the high side) =335. For food. I KNOW I can eat on WAY less than that. :)

Also need insurance though. That could suck rocks but only needs to be paid every three months, if i remember from the last time I did this? Unfortunately Michigan is a REALLY expensive state for insurance. I should call an insurance agent tomorrow too, huh? Arg. Just get a quote so I can budget. I should also be able to go way lower than that on utilities, just I don't know I assume the worst for now.

I'm very very glad that I have been working to keep my spending-on-credit down and get things paid off ahead of time. If I still had student loans or a $10,000 credit card i'd be SOL here. I wish I didn't have that car payment but my town is too small for public transportation and I can't count on a bike or walking when 1)winters suck and 2)i get out of work at 11:30 pm. I can fix up the bike and use it some nights, and hopefully keep the fuel costs down. Alas, my long weekend road trips are a thing of the past for a while. D:

So yeah. I just need to breathe. Focus on the positive, like "YAY my own place after all these years yay yay yay!" I mean, really, this could end up being best thing in forever for me. Just it's scary right now while everything is still all up in the air and I don't know which way to focus my energy. I'm trying to follow too many paths at opnce and I feel like I'm getting no where. Once I narrow the field I can make some progress, and once I get my place and can focus, I'm gonna rock the situation and be just fine. But I need to get there and I don't feel like I have much support in this from family and all of my friends are so far away. :( So you guys get dumped on! All... none of you probably! :P

I'll probably update more on facebook and twitter than here, I'll try to remember to post here as things go but this is sorta my blog of last resort lately. :( But it's also my safe place... I guess I just save it for important things I really really need to get off my chest. *L*

your best matches by state



Your Worst States
1. Tennessee
2. West Virginia
3. Alabama
4. Louisiana
5. Arkansas

Your Best States
1. Maryland
2. Delaware
3. Minnesota
4. Washington
5. Massachusetts


\your best matches by country
\




Your Worst Countries
1. Pakistan
2. Egypt
3. Saudi Arabia
4. South Africa
5. Cyprus

Your Best Countries
1. Sweden
2. Finland
3. Israel
4. Iceland
5. Japan

I'm putting this here mostly as a ToDo list which might actually serve as an update, too.
Slow spot at work, I'm enjoying it. i don't expect it to last becauser I have a show I want to watch tonight, so I can guarantee it will busy from 8-10 at least. :P

I have every intention of going down town tomorrow and asking about buiness licences. Anxiety is laughing at me for that bold plan, but i'm ignoring it. Or trying to. I looked to see if I could do it online but wasn't having much luck. :P

Since it's spring finally and no denying it, I need to get last year's garden pulled and last year's compost spread, so we can start thinking about this year. Need to ask the neighbors if we can still use the fenced area though, or if they are finally gloing to get that patio made they have been talking about. If I have to fence in another area i want to get working on it (and saving for fencing and tilling.) Way too many deer in the neighborhood to try a garden without a big fence.

Also need to clean my car out good. Like vacumn and get under the seats. Whee. i hate doing that.

SEWING PROJECTS. Arg. So many. SOOOOOOOO many. First, need to finish the Irish overdress. We need to adjust the front and then re-hem so it hangs better. Then i NEED to find fabric for my walking skirt for steam expo. Even if it's not my dream fabric, i need somethign for this year. i can always make another later. I doubt my bell jacket is going to happen this year. I haven't even found a pattern i like yet. Costume is going to be WEAK this year but ahh well. Bah priorities.

Speaking of skirts, I want one for Anne's wedding. Why? Because I don't own one. So it's an excuse. I want a pretty skirt so I'm gonna get one. *L* I have the weekend off, the schedule is out, Beedoo! reserved the room, so i guess i'm committed. ^_^ shan and I need to work out travel plans. I intend to drive because 1) i like having my car and 2) i love road trips. :P passport is fixed finally so border crossing shouldn't be an issue. :)

Something else I will be doing soon, i hope, i stalking the delivery guys for my dolls! :D Vox wrote that they will be on thier way home soon, WHEE! :D A new body for Raven, some new stuffing for George, and a new doll for ME! Whoo hoo! *happy dances*

Writing is going okay for off season... Working off and on, mostly off, on two short (ha!) stories of minor characters from the novel. Anyone know how to submit books to editors? Never mind publishers yet, i'll settle for a professional editor who can tell me if there's even a point. if not i want to know so i can make print copies for friends and family, but I don't want to self publish first and thus wreck a chance of anything else. I'm sure that's the way it will end up, but worth a shot. :P Still loving writing group SO MUCH. It's wonderful having local friends again and it's such an awesome group of people. ^_^

Somethign else i WILL do this month is apply for that darn job. I think all three of my referrence letters are in the works, so the rest is up to me. I just need to get up the nerve. and write teh cover letter. i HATE cover letters. I know I've complained about this many times. But I always feel like I'm either lying or begging, no in between. lack of self confidense sucks. But I will manage it. I've told too many people I'm going to do it to back out now. :P I'd feel stupid if I didn't even TRY. Well, more stupid.

Hmm. that about it? All i can think of for now, i guess. Back to taking care of the NON emergencies du jour.

I'm at work, totally avoiding having to do any work. I feel only very slightly guilty.

Last week the big deal in my lif was my first show as a vendor, trying to sell prints of my photos. I sold a few, got a LOT of compliments, but not much for sales. Doesn't help though that it was just a small show at the hospital and they scheduled it for two days before payday. :P I did learn a lot though, and it got me to get off my butt and actually MAKE the prints and stuff in the first place, so now I have them and have no excuse not to try other thigns to sell them, like etsy and other shows during the summer. :)

Luckily the strep throat held off until the day AFTER the sale. Still on antibiotics and feeling tons better.

Have tyler all this week, since they are on spring Break. madison is okay with going to day care, but tyler would wither be with us, or his dad, and he didn't want to be at his dad's for three weeks in a row, and I can't blame him. :P I'm hauling him in for a dental checkup tomorrow moring, since he pretty much has NEVER had one, at 11, because my sister is a twit-ball, amoung other things.

Spring is finally starting to get the upper had, we still have cold nights and some suspiciously frozen-looking rain, but that's normal for spring in the midwest.

I sent my favorite two dolls off to Vox for minor repairs and refreshing. I had a panic attack leaving them at the shipping place, and compulsively reloaded the tracking page until they got there safe. :P I'm sure I'll do the same thing on their way home. *L* But the best news is I have a new doll coming home with them, Raven's cousin Alex, the one who started it all! I'm excited to get him at last! ^_^ Then hopefully Anya and Joseph will come this year yet? I can hope. ^_^

Hmm. Anything else? Oh yeah! I wrote to a guy and he wrote me back and I wouldn't read it because there were people around me. *headdesk* I'll go do that right now. Honest. *L*

honest, i am still here. and stuff has been going on, though not much. I'll try to do a highlight reel for you non-facebook/twitter people (hi arno) befoe I go home from work and brave teh crappy roads...

Still working. trying to get up the ambition/nerve to submit my resume for a job. it's way harder than it shoudl be, dammit. The job would be OK but it's still not a Geo job, but better than clerking. in pay at least. in theory.

I was talking to guy in january, but i haven't heard from him in weeks and weeks adn don't really care. *shrugs* schedule conflicts then he found someone else. I haven't bothered to go back to teh site at all.

My quicky trip to florida was very nice. :) Too short. There's a lot I didn't get to do but concidering, it was worth it. ^_^ Plus I got a ton of 'good kid' brownie points with my dad. Woudl ahve rather had privacy but ehh, those can come in handy.

mom's doing great after her surgery, back to work like normal and pretty much done with rehab.

Ski bowl seaon is almost over! We will have a short respite from driving the kid there all the time, until they open the skate park in may. :P

first week of april, if the weather cooperated, mom and goober and i might come down to the detroit-ish area. unsure of the plans yet besides dropping the kid off at a skatepark or two and shopping.

Work is boring. Weather is typical early spring in Michigan, meaning unpredictable. Writing is stalled. :( Sewing is happening slowly though, in theory. Still, would rather be writing.

Was tempted to try to sell some pictures but i dunno if it's gonna happen. See whine about resumes above.
maybe I shoudl have my meds upped.

George has his own facebook, since mels_dolls was pretty dead. Because i was lazy. but facebook is easier to put pics on. *shrugs* his email is missionboy123@gmail.com if you wanna follow him. he types better on there than he usually does on here, i dunno why.

Planning on lots of fun in May, going to Toronto area for Maui's wedding, and then the next weekend is Steam Expo! no idea if I'll have any costume for that. Def won't have my ideal one or the cosplay.

I guess that's a summation of things. Oh so exciting, huh? :)

Wow, were does time GO anyway?? How are we two weeks into the year already, I don't even remember December! D:

Mom had her surgery, a month ago yesterday, wow, I should remind her of that. She's doing GREAT with recovery, seriously. She has her follow-up appt with the surgeon on teh 24th and is hoping to get cleared to go back to work part time. She getting bored at home and thus we are getting on each other's nerves. She's doing more and more for herself so there's less work for me, but i'm still feeling edgy sometimes, i admit. i suck as a caregiver. :P being able to get away from each other for even a few hours a day will, i suspect, work wonders.

Christmas happened, i spent the day sick with a stomach bug that's going around. had to call in sick for work, which made me MORE sick, I felt so bad. Also i lost the holiday pay which was annoying but what coudl I do, can't work while throwing up... Julie ended up with it too, about 6 hours behind me. She dropped both kids off at their dad's and went home and went to bed. I just laid on teh couch in case mom needed anything (she'd come home from the nursing home the day before, if i'd known i'd have left her there) and whined. ;P

Joined a writing group, well, it's still sort of forming, that's going to meet once a month between naNo. First meeting was super fun adn i'm really looking forward to next month. ^_^ Wow, look! I'm socializing! o.O

And it gets worse. Julie talked me into updating my account on an online dating site and I got a couple of responces, only two I wrote back, and one faded out pretty quick but the other one didn't. i met him Monday after work, and we were going to try to get together again this weekend but obligations and weather conspired against us. timing is really going to be a problem i think, but i guess if there's enough there to work for it, it'll work, otherwise it's no big loss. Still, nice to have a local person that has a lot of the same interests, i might get a friend to hang out with out of the deal. :) he's a nurse who works third shift in Grand Rapids. We'll see.

I guess that's it for now, I shoudl get back to work. just wanted to let folks know i'm still alive.

Mom and I have plans to go cut through the basement wall in order to get at our tree and decorations. Yippee! Noting says holiday prep like power tools! *L*

Still really struggling for gift ideas, this STINKS. Back when I never had money I had all kinds of ideas, now I can't think of anything.

Got my stamps for cards, now I just have to get ambitious and get them addressed and stuff. :)

It's going to be an interesting month. Mom's going in for her bilat knee replacement TUESDAY. Next Tuesday. They are really rushing this for her, which is nice. Of course that means she'll be home for over a month and sitting around the house needing help. I'm mostly OK with this, but that means my private time is going back down to NOTHING for the foreseeable future. *sighs* Will hopefully be worth it though.
Also Dad is leaving for a month in Florida right after the holidays. So I could run away to his house once in a while IF i can think of a good excuse that won't make mom think I'm trying to get away from her.
If the weather was more predictable I would have better excuses but road-trips to visit friends are harder to plan in the middle of winter. :P

I suppose I might as well consider this practice since as the parents get older I'm sure my sister will continue to be useless.

My new book is officially stalled. Bleg. I wish i liked it more. I wanted to write a bit last night so I pulled out one of my other stories and that seemed to go a bit better.

Well, okay, guess I'll go work on cards for a bit. After I get some tea. :)

That time of year again! IF you changed addresses or want a card and haven't gotten one before, email me at mel_kess at hotmail or respond here in it's screened loveliness.

Just killing time before work.....

Someone at the last NaNo Write-in gave me a link to the Mary-Sue litmus test, and I've been amusing myself running my characters through it. :P

Not many surprises yet, Anya hits kinda in the middle, which I can see, her characters does become hugely influential in her own time.

George has scored the lowest, though not as low as I expected. Pretty close though.

Raven was off the damn scale, but I expected that too, that's why I did it for him, for laughs. :P Plus I took the fanfic track with him.

I should try Dan, since I've actually written him. He's so.. NORMAL though. *L* He might be lower than George even.